Many people think that it’s the leader who makes or breaks a small group. But a great small group is usually the result of one or two group members who make the difference. The Bible’s one another commands lay out practical steps that can help you turn your group into the community it’s designed to be.
1. Open the door to hospitality
Fellowship with people you barely know can feel awkward. Inviting one or two others for coffee can build connections in a group that might otherwise feel distant. 1 Peter 4:9 says, “Show hospitality to one another without grumbling,” and it gives not only a charge to invite others in but also a recognition of the work that it requires—why else would he need to add “without grumbling”? Take the initiative to get to know others outside the group.
2. Break the ice with vulnerability
We’ve all been a part of groups that felt superficial and impersonal. That happens when no one is willing to share what’s really happening in their lives. You can change that dynamic by being the first to open up yourself. James 5:16 says “confess your sins to one another.” It requires discernment to decide what should be shared in a group rather than with an individual, but honesty bonds and blesses people.
3. Encourage people in the battle
Everyone in the group you’re a part of shares something in common—they’re all struggling in some way in the battle with sin. It’s hard to daily face the world, the flesh, and the devil, so the Bible calls us to “encourage one another and build one another up” (1 Thessalonians 5:11). Similarly, Hebrews 3:13 says, “Exhort one another every day, as long as it is called ‘today,’ that none of you may be hardened by the deceitfulness of sin.” Your words might be the very thing God uses to help someone keep going.
4. Stir the group’s vision for something more
The groups I’ve been a part of have been made wonderful by the great ideas and initiatives put forward by their members. Hebrews 10:24 says, “And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works …” and it’s a reminder that nudging Christians to be and do all that they’re called to requires thought. Is there a project you could take on? An event you could participate in? A way that you could help people in their faith?
5. Carry prayers through the week
Prayer is one thing that can knit a group closer to each other and to God. While prayer takes place in most groups, continuing to pray for the group throughout the week turns a group from an event into a community. James 5:16 says, “pray for one another, that you may be healed.” Offer to start a WhatsApp group so that people can pray for each other’s needs. Remember the requests that people make when you meet and pray for them during the week. When you carry people to God in prayer, you carry the group toward deeper faith and healing.
6. Demonstrate what it means to really care
Do you ever feel that people don’t seem to be interested in what’s happening in your life? The apostle Paul found that most people were caught up in their own stuff (Philippians 2:20-21), so he pointed to the humility of Jesus and the example of Timothy and charged them, “Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others” (Philippians 2:4). Your interest in other people’s needs can be contagious and impact the whole mood of a group. Set an example of selflessness.
7. Be gracious when it’s messy
Our tendencies toward fight or flight need to be resisted when tensions rise in Christian fellowship. Small groups bring us closer to other people, so irritation and conflict are inevitable. It’s in those times that we’re called to forgive each other (Colossians 3:13) and bear with one another in love (Ephesians 4:2). When you bring grace to difficult situations, it has the power to transform people and draw you together.
Reflecting on and living out the one another commands of Scripture gives you a roadmap for making your small group all that it was intended to be. God can use your obedience to change not only the group but the lives within it.
In awe of Him,
Paul
